


Watch The Clouds With Me

by prsseux



Category: Naruto
Genre: Character Death, Heavy Angst, Honestly ShikaChou is underrated, Hurt No Comfort, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I'm Sorry, I'm so sorry, M/M, again very headcanon based, but like this is sad, i swear i love them, most of the characters are only mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-21
Updated: 2019-10-21
Packaged: 2020-12-20 20:42:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21062885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prsseux/pseuds/prsseux
Summary: "Hey Chouji, watch the clouds with me?" That had been the first thing Shikamaru said to him a day after their first meeting. He recalled being four years old and shy, delightfully staring up at a five-year-old Shikamaru and nodding enthusiastically.





	Watch The Clouds With Me

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry for writing this dkashjkdja I swear I love them, I was just sad and this idea came to me. Enjoy!
> 
> -lua

_Hey Chouji, watch the clouds with me?_

That had been the first thing Shikamaru said to him a day after their first meeting. As he laid there, the ground feasting on his blood, Chouji recalled being four years old and shy, delightfully staring up at a five-year-old Shikamaru and nodding enthusiastically.

Things were easier back then, when he was small and young, when his father’s embrace could erase all the comments about his weight, when everyday was a blissfully blank slate, ready to be coloured in whatever shade his childish-self desired. When his biggest problem was being banned from playing ninja, and his brightest moments were watching clouds and butterflies.

And then growing up happened.

Chouji wouldn’t say he hated growing up, it was good for the most part. He got stronger, taller, smarter. But the burdens he had to withstand became bigger, heavier and his mind almost broke many times. Being sorted in a team with Ino and Shikamaru helped, although Ino had contributed greatly for his lack of self-esteem and mental health issues - not that he’d ever tell her that, he wouldn’t want to make her feel guilty about it.

Together they grew, under Asuma’s care Shikamaru went from being a lazy fawn into a mighty deer, Ino blossomed from an insecure and brash sprout into a beautiful flowery forest. Chouji couldn’t really say if he had grown as much as his friends did, couldn’t really say if he had evolved into the butterfly he was meant to become. It mattered not at the end, because well, things did come to an end.

He was dying.

It was pointless trying to deny that, he had already lost too much blood and chakra - lost too much weight, he was just waiting for death to release him from his duty. Vaguely he hoped to see Shikamaru and Ino one more time, to tell them he loved them, that he was proud of them. And that he’d tell Asuma sensei about all the times they smoked cigarettes thinking Chouji wouldn’t notice.

The Akimichi had always pictured his eating disorder being the cause of his death. Had imagined that one day he would be called to an urgent mission during one of his relapses, those where he wouldn’t eat for weeks on end. And then would die because he could not perform any of his jutsu. But no. Instead he had died to protect his friends, his colleagues.

That was better, wasn’t it? He thought so.

He hoped Asuma sensei would be proud, hoped his dad and his clan would be proud of him, that they’d stop seeing him as weak. Because in the end, that’s all he wanted. To have the people he loved the most be proud of him, to acknowledge his strength despite its gentle nature.

Chouji would also like to say goodbye to his other friends.

Would like to say goodbye to Kiba and Akamaru, who despite being rowdy and loud were never mean to him. Would like to say goodbye to Shino who he had shared many conversations about butterflies and caterpillars with, to Hinata with whom he had spent many afternoons visiting tea shops and cafes. To Tenten that had become his go-to person to talk about armour and weapons, to Lee that was so eager to help him come up with new spicy curry recipes, and to Neji with whom he shared the pain of having to care for their long hair.

He’d like to say goodbye to Sakura, for she had taught him a great deal about how to bandage and care for wounds, to Naruto for always inspiring him and never judging him. And even to Sasuke, for giving him the push he needed to stand up for himself. But the gods were only so merciful, and thus they granted him the opportunity to say goodbye to the one he loved the most.

“_Chouji!_”

Shikamaru was there.

Unfocused hazel eyes opened as a groan escaped the Akimichi’s mouth. Shikamaru desperately tried to stop the bleeding hole in his stomach. “S-shika...maru” he whispered, choking as more blood made its way up his throat.

“Chouji! Chouji, hang on bud, you’ll be okay, alright?! You’ll be fine” the Nara babbled, nervously yelling at someone to get a medic quickly. Chouji knew it was no use, there was no point in it anymore. He had long since passed the threshold for saving.

They wouldn’t waste chakra on him.

His eyes were getting blurry, so he couldn’t really see Shikamaru. Couldn’t see the tears streaming down his face, the despair in his dark brown eyes, but he could feel the tremble of his hands, could hear his unsteady breathing. “You’ll be okay, Shikamaru...” Chouji said slowly, gentle voice slurring his words.

His time was coming.

“No! No don’t say that! You can’t die!” The older teen yelled, shaking his head, completely irrational and not caring one second about it. “You can’t leave me, I love you, Chouji! I love you and I should have told you sooner, so you can’t leave. You can’t—“ he choked, and Chouji found enough strength within his dying self to hold Shikamaru’s hand, to squeeze it gently like he used to do when Iruka sensei was about to yell at them.

“I’m sorry, Shika...” it was getting harder to talk, to formulate words and sentences, a clear sign he would be dying soon. “T-take care of Ino...and all the others, b-but most importantly...of yourself.” He gasped, holding Shikamaru’s hand tighter. “D-don’t smoke too much and...and don’t shut everyone out.” He didn’t want to leave, didn’t want to let Shikamaru go through such loss again. But there was nothing he could do.

The shadow user sobbed, leaning over the man he loved, placing kisses to his cheeks and forehead and lips. “Stop saying that, please stop saying that. Don’t leave Chou, please don’t leave me...” Shikamaru hopelessly pleads, but his mind tells him it’s useless.

_Chouji is **dying**._

The dying teen leans up, using the last bit of his strength to kiss the man he loved. “I...love you, Shikamaru.” Chouji smiled, feeling tears streaming down his own face. He was scared, terrified of what would happen, but Shikamaru was there. So, he felt safe even despite his situation.

Moments pass and Chouji feels himself growing numb, the edges of his vision blackening.

It’s time.

“_Hey Shikamaru, watch the clouds with me..._”

He was not able to see Shikamaru slumping forward, burring his face on his chest. Nor was he able to hear the terrifying scream that the Nara boy let out, or his wails of grief. For at that moment Akamichi Chouji closed his eyes never to open them again.


End file.
